I put them around my waist, like a belt.

I just saw the episode of NewsRadio where Bill tries to quit smoking and he has a reaction to the patch. He said he didn't know you were supposed to only wear one at a time. He used fourteen or so at once. Phil Hartman was sooooo funny.

The Seventies were a great decade for men's hair.

Think the guy from "The Paper Chase" (1973: it just happens to be on TV). Or the tutor's boyfriend in "One on One" (Seen my sandals?). Or even my dad. My dad did have a perm, but it was a time men wore perms proudly. Who else had really great hair in the Seventies?

You know what would be great?

My sister asked me this evening. She was excited about something. I had no idea what she thought would be great. She told me:

A snowsuit. I need a snowsuit because my upper body stays really warm in my down jacket, but my legs just about froze off today. It is just ridiculous how cold my legs are. I especially need it after work when I start my car and have to sit there while it warms up. I tell you, these pants are like paper. I think I'll get a snowsuit.

This was too funny - I pictured her in one of those metallic silver numbers with orange, white, and black stripes on the sleeves. I her swooshing into the office past the receptionist being annoyed at how her purse keeps sliding off her shoulder. Then I see her later in the day, still in the suit because the zipper got caught stuck.

I outline all the reasons a snowsuit is impractical for an adult, but she sticks with her argument that a snowsuit is the answer.

This cracked me up. She was completely serious about the snowsuit, at first. You know how it is when you verbalize something you've been thinking about for a long time? In your head it makes perfect sense. I think she realized what a silly idea it was...

I had the best dream last night.

It starred my grandma. We were in her apartment; I lounged on the couch while she reclined in her chair, studying an almost-complete crossword puzzle. She read aloud clues and I asked how many letters and by the time I formed the visual, she had the answer. She set the puzzle down next to her chair atop a pile of magazines, newspapers, and mail, turned toward me, took off her glasses, smiled, and said, "There. Now that's done."

That is all I remember about the dream, but my memories of my time with Gram are as vivid today as ever. Under the feelings of missing my Gram, there flows an undercurrant of calm and contentment I felt every minute I spent with her (except maybe the time I almost punched that lady at Cub who triedd to cut in front of us in line...but that didn't have anything to do with Gram - she just happened to be there).

Happy birthday, Gram.

This covers everything

What Aine Catherine McCormack Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated. You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want. You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way! You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Obama: People Unite!

If I understand his message correctly, Obama is saying that Americans can unite with him and change the government and the path of the United States. He tells us to have hope that the future will be better if we all work together.

Not that I don't have faith in the American people, but we won't stop driving our cars, our gas-guzzling vehicles, every dang place we need to go, nor will we stop buying products made in China because they are cheaper, even if they are full of lead paint poisoning our children, made by their children in sweat shops.

If I believe then the dollar with start to be worth something? If I hope, then our trade deficit will disappear? All it takes is faith and then our educational system will be fixed? If I vote for Obama, I can trust that our soldiers will come home?

I don't get it. His popularity is understandable. This country did elect Bush twice, I guess we don't really care about reality.

A new year

I feel differrent this new year. I think this is a good thing. Maybe I will get something accomplished.

Resolve

In 2008, I will post here on a regualar basis. Then maybe I will actually tell a few people I have a blog...

Your Score: The Deer

Here's your results! Your spirit animal has a Nobility ranking of 10 out of 18.

Your spirit animal is the deer. They are a respectable and beautiful animal. They are fearful and timid at times and are considered as having only slightly above average nobility and wisdom. The deer is a fairly common guardian, and you can feel proud knowing it will serve you well.

***Wondering how this animal was chosen for you? These questions were carefully thought out to see how important you hold certain virtues such as: humanism, self-knowledge, rationalism, the love of freedom and other somewhat Hellenic ideals. Some of the questions were very subtle. Your score was then matched with an animal of corresponding nobility. However, you shouldn't think this was a right/wrong sort of test, but more of an idealistic values test. It's ok to not hold these values, you'll just get an animal spirit of lower stature if you do!***

Link: The What is Your Spirit Animal Test written by FindingEros on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Your Score: PORTLAND!

You scored 48% Style, 15% Climate, and 62% Culture!

You are Portland, Oregon! Portland, the largest city in Oregon and seat of Multnomah County, is located in the northwest part of the state on the Willamette River. Portland has a diverse economy with a broad base of manufacturing, distribution, wholesale and retail trade, regional government, and business services. Major manufacturing industries include machinery, electronics, metals, transportation equipment, and lumber and wood products. Technology is a thriving part of Portland's economy, with over 1,700 high-tech companies located in the metropolitan area. Tourism is also important to Portland's economy, drawing more than 7 million visitors annually.

You are a nicely cultured individual, appreciating a good play, book, movie, or fine dining. You also appreciate some diversity, lest things get too boring. Not one for sitting and relaxing for long periods at a time nor dressing up the nines, you take interest in getting outside and being out in nature, enjoying the cool, crisp air...maybe even playing a sport or taking a hike. Portland is a good place to be, my friend.

Link: The Which Major U.S. City Are You? Test written by weeredII on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I do like cookies...

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth. You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around. You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Niece

My sister and I met my brother, sister-in-law, and niece in Chicago a couple of weekends ago. We went to the Chicago Celtic Fest in Grant Park. The weather was ideal and my niece was perfect. She is almost four months old now and is such a cool baby.

I have become obsessed with Hilton HHonors. I joined before Chicago and am currenly a Blue VIP member. After three more stays I will reach the Silver VIP level. I can't wait.

I heard a piece on the radio about how it is all about being connected in the world today. For kids growing up, it is all they know - computers, cell phones, myspace, and lots of other things I don't really get.

I don't like the idea of everyone and anyone knowing my business. I just visited my netflix queue and thought I would invite my aunt to be my friend. That was a big step for me. An even bigger step would be if I posted this link:
http://www.netflix.com/BeMyFriend/PiSlUxvsYQK2Cr0GfOCh

Now ALL of the people who read this blog will know what movies I watch. That would kind of gross me out if I thought anyone read this.

Laugh

I just got off the phone with my mom. She laughed just like my grandma (and her mother) used to laugh. I loved her laugh. I can't really explain it, but no one else laughs like she did. Until now. It was eerie.

Maybe it is a grandma laugh. My mom became a grandma on Monday.

I can't wait for it to slip out again.

I am now an aunt. That word looks kind of old to me. I hope I am not called "auntie". Just my name is fine. My niece is very cute - she's not all scrunched up and discolored like some newborns. I am quite proud of my brother and his wife.

Ten spot

On January 29, 1998 at 11:49am I took $10 out of an ATM. Hardly seems worth the trouble.



The receipt from this transaction was carelessly tucked into a stack of musty cancelled checks.



Oh...the good old days! When you could take as little as a ten spot out of an ATM and when the banks returned your cancelled checks to you with your monthly statement.



I tend to get nostalgic about things that happened in the 1990s (my favorite decade). I crumpled up the receipt and threw it on the pile of old papers that had accumulated on the floor.

Before I knew it tears welled up in my eyes and I remembered. January 29, 1998 was one of the last days I could see the world like a "normal" person. A couple days later I would be in the hospital in a drug-induced coma. When I woke up on February 10th, I was blind.

I miss being able to see more than the equivalent of looking through a peep hole on a hotel room door. I don't let myself think about it too often because it makes me too sad. It is easier to miss the by-gone banking practices than your vision.

Now, I wonder if I can toss these old checks?

Today's a good day.

Today my dad and I were going over a dialog for our Irish class when he suddenly became choked up. My dad can be a little bit of a sap at times, so this behavior was not unusual. A good sports movie always brings a tear to his eye, as do stories about poor children from the ghetto who beat the odds and grow up to be doctors and professors. He also tends to get misty- eyed when he listens to Irish rebel music or a Judy Collins record. As a kid, my dad was much more demonstrative than my mom. This was just one aspect of my formative years that contributed to some confusion later in life as to the socially ascribed gender roles. I will get into that at a later date.

It is so strange how you can do the same things over and over with no associations to a past memory and then one day you are reading about Cait asking Nora if it is a good day and suddenly you are in the middle of a big pool of memory. This has happened to me before. For a split second sadness/nostalgia/happiness/pain/regret roll through you, filling your entire body and then poof! it all disappears and before you go back to feeling normal you feel empty.

i ask my dad what is wrong when he doesn't respond for several minutes.

"We used to always say to my dad when he got home from work, 'Today is a good day, papa'."

He never talks about his dad. My grandpa died when Dad was just twelve-years-old. He had a heart attack while the two of them were walking home from the lake. It was just the two of them. He died instantly.

I supressed my desire to ask him questions on the subject. This was not an "in" to a discussion on the grandpa I know so little about and my dad never talks about. This was Dad's few moments of memory flooding in, filling him up, and then draining out. We continued with the dialog. It is a good day.

What do you do with a kangaroo?

I just got the best children's book ever for my niece: What do you do with a kangaroo? by Mercer Mayer.
This was one of my favorite books as a kid. The story features a tough heroine who battles her way through an array of demanding animals who invade her space and bother her as she just tries to go about her daily business. It is fantastic. Can't wait to send it to M&J so they can start reading it to her.

I am surprised with how excited I am for my niece to be born. I can't even imagine how her parents are feeling!

St. Patrick's Day

My dad and I are taking Irish classes. He is the biggest brown-nose around. He will ask questions that showcase what he knows in order to elicit the response "An-mhaith", very good. This is all kind of cute until it involves me. He signed us up to volunteer at the organizations table at a St. Patrick's Day celebration at Landmark Center in Saint Paul. I am full of the volunteer spirit, however I know where my strengths are. When the volunteer coordinator came to our class with the sign-up sheet, Dad jumped at the opportunity to be the first one on the list. Which meant I was second.

Since I don't see very well, I guess I assume that a duty that asks you to make eye contact with people passing by might not be my thing. I don't do well in big groups where people are coming and going and asking questions about something I have studied for only six weeks while Irish music is blaring in the background while little girls with creepy curly wigs dance around.

Not my thing. I survived our shift and everyone was very nice to me, but I felt like such a dork. I avoid putting myself in those types of situations because I hate feeling this way. Of course if I didn't do things I was uncomfortable with, I would rarely leave the house. I have been legally blind for nine years and by now I am able to weigh the pros and cons of any given situation and decide if it is a good way to spend my time. I have been surprised, but ususally I am right.

We don't even get graded.

Aunt

There will be a baby in our family for the first time in twenty-nine years when my niece is born in June. I am very excited. I think I am well-suited to the role of aunt. My brother and sister-in-law also asked me to be a godmother (no godfather, just my sister and I fulfilling the duties of godparents). I am relieved there will be someone to carry on the family legacy.

My entire family is eager to meet the new arrival My dad was born to be a grandfather - he has the corny sayings and jokes down. I am pleased that my niece will have a grandpa. I never did and I always longed for a grandpa to bring me fishing or bring me to the track or bring me somewhere.

Can't wait.

Press "9" to resave

My grandma called me once and left me a voice mail message:

"Annie, this is your grandma".

Grandma rarely called anyone and most certainly never left a message. I guess that was why I saved it. I have no idea why she called or when the message was left. For a split second every ninety days when the kind voice mail lady asks me if I want to erase this message or save it, I consider getting rid of it. She has been dead almost three years.

I am not ready to let go. I will be at some point, but not yet.. When I hear her words, a warm wave a love flows over me and I smile.

Today I was told by the voice mail lady that the message had been saved for the maximum time allowed and I opted to resave. We will see what I do in ninety days...